Melon Affair, The, 164 min

The Melon Affair aka Up Your Alley (1971, 70 min, Haji, Uschi Digard) A horny and nerdy virgin lands a catering job at a film party filled with busty actresses just like the ones he fantasizes about all day long. But his good fortune doesn't last long as he accidentally causes the death of a Mafia don whom he must impersonate amidst a jewel-smuggling plot. A screwball big-titty sex-comedy that only could have been made in the 1970s, The Melon Affair is a perfect example of the genre. Includes must-see footage such as Haji ( Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill ) riding topless on a motorcycle and Uschi performing a messy ice cream massage! Also includes bonus feature Prison Girls (1972, 95 min, Maria Arnold, Linda York, Marsha Jordan, Uschi Digard, Neola Graff)! Total running time: 165 min.